How do you think our government can help its citizens give up smoking- to raise the price of cigarettes; to ban cigarettes; or to bribe its citizen? A Scottish city council has launched a scheme to help its citizens give up smoking by giving them pocket money! To make it more specific, smokers involved in this scheme will be given the vouchers for exchanging food and groceries. Let's see if it's a decent bribery which fits every smoker's needs.......

Don't you abandon us for food!!!


◎ 第二十ㄧ期自學包裹上線啦!


另外,由於author plus系統更新的關係,各位同學請麻煩到這邊把flash player更新到9.0.124.0版本喔!

◎ 寫作諮詢 等你來~




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All Quiet on the Western Front




You quit smoking, I spare you the debt!!!

(Spike and Will are brothers. Today, Spike goes to Will's bedroom to ask Will to give him the money he lent Will last month.)

Spike: Will, do you remember the money you owe me?

Will: What money?

Spike: The cigarettes I bought at the duty free shop in the airport! You asked me to buy them, remember?

Will: Oh yeah, sorry about that.

(When trying to get the money from his wallet, Will begins to cough so hard as if he is going to cough out his lungs.)

Spike: Are you alright?

Will: I'm fine. Don't worry, mate. It happens.

(Then, Will takes a few deep breaths and gives the money to Spike)

Will: There you go. I'll give you the rest the other day, alright?

Spike: No worries.

Will: Ta.... well, I've really coughed up the money, haven't I.

Spike: That's no joke, mate. It's been a long time! The cough, I mean.

Will: Well, just on and off; on and off; though sometimes it gets more serious in winter. Anyway, it's fine; it's not gonna kill me.

Spike: No, not now maybe; but it will someday. You can't turn a blind eye to your health problem! Why don't you just quit smoking?

Will: Quit smoking? Don't pull my leg! Asking me to ditch the durries is like asking me to ditch my good old mate. We've been side by side for almost 10 years. We've always stuck together when I got the rough end of the pineapple. You know, it's like he lit up the darkness that once surrounded me.

Spike: Yeah, light up the darkness, and it's gonna burn you down soon. You've gone troppo. Your good old mate is devouring my brother's lungs and burning his money.

Will: That's not a serious problem.

Spike: But that's still a problem. Let's get it done once and for all.

Will: Once and for all? What do you mean?

Spike: Well, not really once actually. It's gonna take a while, I reckon.

Will: What do you mean?

Spike: I mean you're currently having trouble to make ends meet, right?

Will: Yeah. So?

Spike: Since you're still in debt to me, and you have to count for every single penny, I'll deduct the money you owe me 500 bucks per week if you start to quit smoking from this arvo.

Will: 500 bucks per week. But that'll last for only 4 weeks at most.

Spike: Then after that, I'll give you 300 bucks per week untill you actually quit smoking.

Will: Are you bribing me to give up smoking?

Spike: Yes, I'm bribing you to ditch this bad old mate.

Will: Eh... 500 bucks, right? That sounds pretty attractive!

Spike: So you'll do it. Good! But don't forget the only rule. That is, if you should be caught smoking, you'd have to give me back all the money.

Will: Ok, fair enough! That's the deal. I'll go for it.



ditch (v): 甩掉;放棄
deduct (v): 扣除
durry (n) = cigarette
arvo (n) = afternoon (澳)
devour (v): 吞食


cough up: 心不甘情不願的付錢或交出東西
on and off: 斷斷續續
turn a blind eye to: 視而不見
pull my leg: 開我玩笑
get the rough end of the pineapple: 遇到難題
go troppo = crazy
once and for all: 一次就解決;一勞永逸
make ends meet: 收支平衡
in debt to: 欠某人錢
to count for every single penny: 小心地利用每一分錢



(ABC News) Scottish city to pay people to stop smoking

(BBC News) Smokers offered money to give up



English Freeway

編輯:滕 偉

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