Alz: Hello, old chap. Look at that! New shoes?
Heimer: Yes, yet these aren’t any ordinary shoes. They are “GPS sneakers.”
Alz: Not ordinary? Hey, GPS isn’t a novelty anymore. It’s just everywhere. And your GPS sneakers look like most ordinary running shoes…. Wait a minute, GPS in your shoes?
Heimer: Now you know, ha. With the GPS chip tucked into the bottom of my sneakers, I can be located anywhere in the world with the press of a button.
Alz: Button? Where is the button?
Heimer: Over here, near the shoelaces. Two silver buttons, you see? One to activate and one to cancel.
Alz: I see, very inconspicuous. I wonder if you can find it next time.
Alz: Just kidding, but what’s the point of wearing these shoes? Why would you like to be located anyway?
Heimer: This invention aims primarily to ease the fears of worried parents. They can know where their kids are all the time.
Alz: But you are no kid at all, old boy.
Heimer: For the time being, only the adult line is available. Children’s sizes will be out this summer.
Alz: What? But didn’t you say this invention is for “worried parents”? How come they don’t have children’s shoes out first?
Heimer: That’s something I am wondering about, too. Maybe the company is trying to produce some cheaper versions for kids. This thing is just so expensive. This pair on my feet cost $350.
Alz: Oh my, that’s really a hefty price tag.
Heimer: Not only that. The shoes alone won’t work unless you subscribe to a 24-hour monitoring service that runs $19.95 a month.
Alz: This idea is totally impracticable. Who’s got the money? There are so many cheaper GPS gadgets that also help track your kids.
Heimer: Yet shoes aren’t easy to lose, unlike GPS watches, cellphones, or bracelets.
Alz: Is that so? Shoes aren’t easy to lose, but there are other risks with shoes. Have you ever seen a kid use a shoe as a hammer? Kicking rocks? Knocking mud off the tread? And what kid wants to go to school and have all his friends and classmates find out his parents can track his movements with his shoes?
Heimer: Maybe you are right, but at least this device works for elderly people like us, especially those with Alzheimer’s disease.
Alz: Speak of Alzheimer, where are we now?
Heimer: Oh my God! I don’t know!
Alz: Don’t worry, just activate your GPS sneakers, and they will find us.
Heimer: It’s no use.
Alz: What do you mean by “no use”?
Heimer: I’ve been out for three days and nobody will ever find me.
Alz: What? Haven’t you said you can be located anywhere with the press of a button?
Heimer: Yes, but the battery had run out….
Alz: Very well, that’s just why old people don’t like the idea of “technology.”