Nate
and Jem have been close friends since primary school.
The
duo is pretty
like
Laurel
and Hardy as Nate is awfully
lean and
Jem excessively
plump,
and they often have arguments with each other
on matters which usually don't bother normal
people at all. This morning, Nate is having
brunch in
the kitchen, and then soon after Jem has come
to the kitchen as well, they are again quarreling
over each other's habits.
Nate:
Why are you grinning like a
shot fox?
Jem:
I've finally lost 5 kilograms and 2 inches on my waist.
Nate:
That's good, but you're still not
within cooee of being
normally weighted.
Jem:
Don't be so
mean! You're not as fit as a
Mallee bull either. So, just keep gobbling
up your bacon n' egg.
Nate:
Alright...alright...... How did you lose weight, anyway?
Jem:
I've been taking some Chinese herbal medicine for
a month.
Nate:
I was told that's bloody exy,
and most of the treatments are pretty shonky.
Jem:
It's a bit of a furphy to
say the treatments are shonky because my doctor is
really helping me.
Nate:
Did he tell you the cause of your obesity?
Jem:
Yeah, he said I must have bad eating habits as I didn't
know when to stop; that then caused too much fat
around my tissues, and...
Nate:
Bloody oath! I can tell
you that too! The way you eat is like...
Jem:
Didn't you hear I said "AND"? That means I've not finished
yet.
Nate:
Alright, I'm listening.
Jem:
And he said I also have problems with oedema in
my lower body and that's caused by bad circulation.
Nate:
Oedema? But I rarely saw you feeling dizzy.
Jem:
Oedema, fluid retention! Not anaemia!
Nate:
They sound bloody alike! How do I tell the difference?
Jem:
Anyway, whatever you say. Then he added that my
bad eating habits could be caused by living a stressful
life. And because I've been over-weighted since childhood,
the specific cause could be my parents' strict way
of handling children. The stressful household that
I had created the habits of overeating, by which I
could find an escape from stress and feel more comfy.
So, whenever I spit the dummy,
I just eat and I'll feel better, and then stand Buckley's of
getting slim.
Nate:
Woo! Did you go to see a doctor or a fortune
teller?
Jem:
He actually has got it right at some point. My parents
used to say things to me like "Clean your plate
or else!", "Don't sleep like a hog in
a sty!", "What
do you have in there for brains?", "Quit crying,
or I'll give you something to cry about!", or whatever
to nag at
me. You know, that's really awful to hear them saying
those things to me.
Nate:
So, you are fat because of your parents. I'm sorry
for you, mate. But at least you're on the way to slim
down. Do you want me to make some more bacon n' egg
for you to cheer you up.
Jem:
Are you setting me up?
Nate:
No! Because the only way I know to cheer you up is
to feed you!
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