Wu Da-lang: Hey, little brother. What are we going to do this winter vacation? Any ideas?
Wu Song: I am thinking about going to Disneyland. They say it’s the Happiest Place on Earth. I’ve long wanted to see Mickey Mouse and Doraemon there.
Wu Da-lang: No way. First thing is, you can’t see Doraemon there. He’s not even a Disney character. And secondly, Disneyland is terrible and dangerous. Didn’t you hear about the “Tigger attack”? Tigger was accused of smacking a boy fan when they were posing for a photo.
Wu Song: Oh, I saw the report about that, too. Yet I think it was only an accident. The boy seemed to have pushed Tigger off balance first. To regain his balance, that Tigger guy swung his arm back in the boy’s direction and unfortunately hit that poor brat right on the head. Simply an accident.
Wu Da-lang: You can’t be so sure. The video clip showed only a fraction of what happened.
Wu Song: Well then, neither can you be so sure about the innocence of that boy. By the way, he looked a bit obnoxious to me, probably because he looked too old to be called a “boy.” He’s more like a retarded adult.
Wu Da-lang: Whatever you say. But look, this mischievous Tigger was not the first to get sued. Several years ago another Tigger was arrested on charges of molesting a minor. I always knew he was a big orange thug.
Wu Song: Alright, names can be changed, but Tigger is still a tiger, a bad tiger. Now it becomes all the more imperative that I, Wu Song, the tiger-fighter, travel to Disneyland and terminate that bouncing evil thing.
Wu Da-lang: Can you tell me how come I sensed some sarcasm in your heroic proclamation?
Wu Song: Indeed, old chap. You should never underestimate the destructive potential of the little devils we call “kids.”
Wu Da-lang: What are you talking about?
Wu Song: I’ve never told you about this. In my less-proud days, before I became the tiger-fighting hero, I had to wear a Winnie the Pooh costume at market fairs for quite a long time.
Wu Da-lang: WAIT─A─MINUTE! YOU? Winnie the Pooh?
Wu Song: I was young. I needed the money… Let me finish, please. Kids I met when dressed as Winnie were really brutal. Under the cover of their childish innocence, they attacked me mercilessly, very often planting a fist or an elbow into Winnie’s “nether regions.” It still hurts every time I recount this miserable experience.
Wu Da-lang: Wow, that’s something really shocking. I am speechless.
Wu Song: Then keep silent about this. Otherwise soon you will be ambushed by someone in the lovely Winnie suit.
Wu Da-lang: Yeah, I know that guy now. Tiger-fighter in the Winnie suit. Sounds extremely dangerous and disgusting. I will definitely watch out.
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