Charlie: Lucy, am I really a bad pitcher?
Lucy: What a silly question to ask! We’ve never won a game, so how can you be a good pitcher? Not to mention how the ball always swoosh by you or knock you off the mound. Charlie Brown, you are a complete flop.
Charlie: Aargh, quit saying that! You are also on the team. I don’t remember you being a great outfielder either. I am not the only reason why our team always loses.
Lucy: But to boost your spirit, I found this news. Here (handing Charlie a newspaper clipping).
Charlie: “A baseball team of a Japanese high school threw in the towel after surrendering 66 runs in less than two innings.” How does that make me a better pitcher?
Lucy: Because it proves that there are worse pitchers in the world than you are, Charlie Brown. You are really very bad, but you are not the worst. See, this hapless hurler used more than 250 pitches in only two innings. If the coach didn’t plead for the game to be abandoned, can you imagine how many balls this guy will have to pitch?
Charlie: Alright, I guess you have a point there. However, I am still very worried about tomorrow’s game. It’s the first game of the season. I would like to win.
Lucy: Don’t worry. I have high hopes for this season.
Charlie: But you just said that I, the manager and pitcher of the team, am a complete loser.
Lucy: It’s not about you. I buried one of my shirts underneath the other team’s field.
Charlie: What?! Why do you do that?
Lucy: To jinx them. That’s an idea I got from another news story.
Charlie: You mean the Red Sox-rooting construction worker who planted a David Ortis jersey underneath the new Yankee stadium? That’s stupid! I can’t believe you try to hex the other team in the same way!! Aargh!
Lucy: I don’t think it is that silly. I don’t like that shirt anyways.
Charlie: Didn’t you know that Ortis’s performance has slumped hugely? I think the curse was on the person whose shirt is being buried!
Lucy: Alright, let’s go excavate it. Bring your jackhammer, let’s do some drilling.
Charlie: Lucy, I don’t think we will need a jackhammer. Isn’t their field comprised mostly of dust and mud just like ours?
Lucy: Uh. I tried to follow the story as close as possible. So I pour cement on it. Come to think of it, it was near the home base. If anyone tries to slide into the base, he will probably break his toe. Maybe I should try to make money out of it. Maybe I can sell first-aid kits by the field…
Charlie: Lucy, you are the only person who slides on our team. I can see how the curse will be on you… Come on, let’s just go dig it up. And remove the cement. And help put their dust back... So much work on the day before the most important game of the season. (Sigh) People usually call me a blockhead, but, Lucy, I think you are the real blockhead here.
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