瑞士天兵亂入鄰近小國

 

Switzerland is famous for its love of peace.

Can you imagine why on earth the Swiss would “invade” a neighboring country no bigger than Washington D. C.?

The possible reasons are darkness and bad teeth. Doesn’t make sense to you at all? Try to find out!

Are the famous Swiss Army knives enough to counquer a country?


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 英語宅急便

The Swiss Surprise Invasion

瑞士侵略列支敦士坦!瑞士不是中立國嗎?瑞士有軍隊嗎?很顯然的,在這個紛亂的時代,就算是愛好和平的瑞士,也會因為雞毛蒜皮的原因,侵犯隔壁小小國的領土~

Lennon: Ah, it’s happening again. Read this, “Fresh fighting breaks out in Gaza.” Everyday when I read the BBC news, I am bound to find some country in war. Why can’t everyone be neutral like the Swiss?

McCartney: You know, the Swiss army just invaded a neighboring country a few months ago.

Lennon: Are you kidding me! Have you ever seen the flamboyant Swiss guards in the Vatican? Do they look ferocious to you?

McCartney: Ha, I remember thinking that they are more like clowns than guards in those uniforms.

Lennon: Hey, be more respectful. That uniform is a symbol of the Swiss guards' long-standing tradition of loyalty and discipline. I am just saying that the they don't look particularly threatening to me. Besides, do you mean they invade someone with their teeny-weeny Swiss Army knife? Which tool do you think they use to cross the border, the bottle opener or the screw driver?

McCartney: Well, neither. The invasion was an accident.

Lennon: An accident? How can you “accidentally” invade someone?

McCartney: 170 Swiss infantrymen got lost in their routine training and wandered over the unmarked border between Switzerland and Liechtenstein. They marched into Liechtenstein for two miles before they realized their mistake and turned back. According to one of the infantrymen, it was too dark that night.

Lennon: Uh. They got lost? With all their fine watches and delicate machineries, I thought the Swiss are supposed to be famous for their precision!

McCartney: Yeah, maybe they should include a GPS tool in their multi-functional knives.

Lennon: That’s really embarrassing. Did the government of Lie… whatsitsname want retaliation?

McCartney: Liechtenstein. You mean whether they also want to wander into Switzerland someday? Well, no. They made light of the whole thing. Their spokesman said “it’s not like they invaded with attack helicopter.”

Lennon: I guess it would be less like an accident if a helicopter is involved. But really, who would want to invade a country you cannot even name?

McCartney: You are the one who cannot name it. Maybe its name is too sophisticated for you. As for why anyone would want to invade Liechtenstein..., as far as I know, a third of the world’s fake teeth are produced in Liechtenstein.

Lennon: Hmm.... The Swiss surely produce very good chocolates and perhaps very bad teeth…. Bah, if the peace-loving Swiss start to invade people for fake teeth, I am immigrating out of the earth today.

 

Wordbank:

be bound to (ph) 一定;注定
infantrymen (n) 步兵
neutral (adj) 中立
Liechtenstein (n) 列支敦士坦
invade (v) 侵略
precision (n) 精確
flamboyant (adj) 艷麗;花俏;浮誇
whatsitsname (n) 那個叫什麼的
Vatican (n) 教廷;梵帝岡
(what’s its name 的口語連唸)
ferocious (adj) 兇猛
retaliation (n) 報復
clown (n) 小丑
make light of (ph) 對…不在乎
teeny-weeny (adj) 很小的;小不拉嘰
sophisticated (adj) 世故的; 精緻的
border (n) 邊境
attack helicopter (n) 攻擊直昇機
screw driver (n) 螺絲起子

 

相關連結:

BBC:Swiss in Liechtenstein 'invasion'

ABC:Whoops! Swiss Accidentally Invade Liechtenstein

Guardian:Liechtenstein: no retaliation for Swiss "invasion"

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