分手達人單挑邱比特

It is difficult to break up, isn't it? Not any more!

With a fee ranging from $25 to $65 , you can hire a "Separation Agent " to do the unpleasant task for you if, well, you don't think this to be a bit irresponsible.

"Just think about it," said the agent, "A new world needs new ways of living, new ways of love, and then new ways of ending a relationship..... "

According to his clients, our Spearation Agent has done a good job so far, and made some good money, too.

Cupid: ......


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寫作中心95學年度第二學期的英文應用寫作短期課程在自即日起受理報名,包括『留學申請書信寫作』、『英文求職履歷與求職書信』,讓您掌握應用文的寫作方法。歡迎大三以上各科系學生或教職員工參加。本課程採現場報名,名額有限,額滿為止。課程內容及報名方式請參考寫作中心網站......我想了解課程

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Hong Kong Education City

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 英語宅急便

"What's the problem with this guy," said Mr. Cupid.

一段戀情走到貌合神離,曲終人散之時,如何分手又是一大問題。誰都不想當壞人,或者早早鐵了心意要將孽緣斬斷,見了面卻心軟說不出口,弄得分分又合合,若是當中不巧又有第三者,正好湊成三國,合久必分分久必合...(好,是有點難笑啦)現在,你可以有更好的選擇!請看,戀情終結者幫你搞定分手難題!

Angelina: Hey, Jennifer. What happened? You don't look well today.

Jennifer: It's Brad. He broke up with me. But don't worry. I am not as bad as I may look.

Angelina: Really? Why? What did he say? Didn't he give you any reasons?

Jennifer: No, he didn't say anything. He gave no reasons, either.

Angelina: But how could you two break up without any words from his part? I mean, if he said nothing, how did you even know he wanted to leave you?

Jennifer: He hired a "separation specialist" to speak for him.

Angelina: A what? Separation specialist?

Jennifer: Yes, Brad paid him to break the bad news.

Angelina: That's very, very irresponsible. He should at least have the courtesy to end your relationship in person.

Jennifer: Better than just sending me a text message. A separation specialist cost him much more. That mister said some people nicknamed him "the Terminator." He charged from $25 to $65 for his service. I got the 25-dollar package called "Let's just be friends."

Angelina: What was that?

Jennifer: The Terminator called me and caught me off-guard, telling me that Brad no longer wished to continue our relationship but we could still be friends. Whatever he said, I had been dumped.

Angelina: Oh my god, this is so heartrending.

Jennifer: Better than the harsher "Leave me alone" approach. Or the 65-dollar full package, which includes having the Terminator pay a visit to the dumpee’s place and take back all the jilter's belongings.

Angelina: How can you say these things so calmly? I thought you loved him very much, didn't you?

Jennifer: Yes, I did. I almost got crazy upon knowing that Brad jilted me, and in such a callous manner. But soon I came to accept the fact. It's like pulling off a Band-Aid: painful as it rips off, but over in a jiffy and with no permanent scar in the long term.

Angelina: Don't you think it better that Brad did it himself?

Jennifer: No, if he had called or came to tell me in person, I guess things would have been worse. At least I won't argue with the Terminator. He is just a neutral messenger.

Angelina: Did you cry?

Jennifer: Of course. But it's over now. I have asked the Terminator about his services. Next time I may seek for his help myself.

Angelina: Yeah, I am thinking about this, too. Recently, I feel like ending my quick fling with Brad…

Jennifer: You what? You and Brad?

Angelina: No, don't be mistaken. It's not your Brad. It's B-r-e-a-d, Bread. He doesn't seem to like my enthusiasm for charity. And I think it's time to get rid of him….

 

Wordbank:

separation (n) 分手,分居,分離
dumpee (n) 被拋棄的人(但不指垃圾)
sepcialist (n) 專家
jilt (v) 拋棄情人(但不用於丟垃圾)
courtesy (n) 禮貌
callous (adj) 冷酷無情的
relationship (n) 戀愛關係
Band-Aid (n) OK繃,亦為品牌名
terminator (n) 終結者
rip off (v) 扯掉
off-guard (adv) 無預警地,未提防的
jiffy (n) 瞬間
dump (v) 拋棄 (垃圾與舊情人)
neutral (adj) 中立的
heartrending (adj) 令人心碎的
fling (n) 隨意的嘗試 ,一時的放縱

 

相關連結:

abcNews:Breaking up? Not so hard to do

Reuters:Oh, I am supposed to take the ring back, too...

BBC:Agency makes breaking up easier

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